This article was originally written for and published by Foodservice Consultant, FCSI’s (Foodservice Consultants Society International) trade magazine, for which Marius writes a monthly column.
Hey Young World,
“The customer is always right.” It’s a phrase you hear in hospitality from day one. But in reality? It’s more complicated. Sometimes standing by your team or your menu means saying no, even to the paying guest.
As some readers might remember, I grew up in a hospitality family. As a teenager working as a waiter in our Amsterdam restaurant, I had my first real test. A customer sent back a coffee made by one of our trainees, complaining it was cold. I asked her to make a fresh one. He sent it back again. Curious, I tried it myself – it was very hot. The trainee was black, and it didn’t take me long to suspect the customer was opposed to more than just cold coffee. When I refused to make him another, he only got ruder. That’s when I decided enough was enough: I told him we wouldn’t be serving him anymore and asked him to leave.
That moment stuck with me – sometimes protecting your team and your values means standing up to a customer, even if it means kicking them out.
But not every problem customer deserves to be shown the door. Sometimes, a waived bill or a free drink is the smarter move. When there’s a genuine mistake, say a wrong order or a delay, small gestures can smooth things over. It keeps the mood light, preserves goodwill, and most importantly, supports your staff. Nobody wants to feel like they’re battling a losing war on the floor. An apology paired with a small concession often prevents a scene before it starts.
Then there are the times when you have to stand firm. When a customer crosses the line – disrespecting your staff, questioning the integrity of your kitchen without basis, or pushing unreasonable demands – it’s your job to protect your team and your restaurant’s standards. That might mean politely but firmly asking them to leave.
My mom, a seasoned hospitality veteran, has a neat tactic for difficult customers: she flatters them. When someone is being unnecessarily demanding or unpleasant, she’ll suggest that maybe a more upscale venue would better suit their “particular taste and high standards.” It’s a graceful way of saying, “This isn’t the place for you,” without a direct confrontation. It defuses tension and preserves dignity for everyone.
Support your team
The danger of always siding with the customer is that it can erode your restaurant’s integrity and staff morale. When you prioritize appeasement over respect, you risk creating a toxic environment where employees feel unsupported and customers develop a sense of entitlement.
So where do you draw the line? Train your staff to recognize the difference between a legitimate complaint and a customer who’s simply being difficult. Have clear policies, but allow room for discretion and empathy. Empower your team to escalate or push back when necessary. Support from management is key.
Hospitality is about respect: respect for your guests, and respect for your team. Sometimes that means challenging a customer, not because they’re always wrong, but because you’re always right to protect the integrity of your space.
The customer isn’t always right, but they deserve to be treated fairly. And your team deserves to be protected.
One Love,
Marius | 1520